Archive for July, 2007

The Great River Shakespeare Festival, Season 4

It has been two weeks since I was in Winona, MN, and in that time I have had the opportunity to reflect on my experiences. I was truly blessed to get the chance to do what I did for six weeks. I began in mid-May in the scene shop at Winona State University working as a carpenter and juggling in my duties as assistant lighting designer at the same time. During this period of my internship I was probably the most miserable, but now having stepped away for some time I realize it was valuable time spent in a worthwhile manner. I was able to practice the skills I already had, re-fine some of those skills and add some new skills to the old resume. I feel now that those first 3 GRSF Season 4weeks of construction have allowed me to make myself more marketable to more professional companies, and I hope that I will now be able to secure some of those posts that were slightly out of my reach before.

In terms of working with the lighting designer, I could not have been luckier. He was a wonderful man who was very open to my suggestions and who allowed me to have a real voice in the look of these two productions. I learned many valuable skills from him in the realm of the technical aspects of design, but I also learned life lessons as well. I learned that everything will be easier if you just remain calm. Don’t let the stress eat at you. These are things I have been told on numerous occasions that one would figure I should have learned by now, but seeing these little nuggets of wisdom actually being lived out by this man were what cemented it for me. I could not be luckier. Not many people in my field can say that they have had such an experience so early in their design careers. I just now cross my fingers that there are others out there that will be willing to continue teaching me in such an open and encouraging fashion.

The experience of Winona: not so exciting, but the people that make up the company of the Great River Shakespeare Festival and their supporters are truly amazing people. I feel that every person I came into contact with in Winona enriched my life in some way, and I can only hope that I made a similar contribution to them. I was welcomed with such warmth to these peoples’ lives, it was incredible. The passion these people had for doing this work or helping this festival survive was awe inspiring. I have never seen a community of people stand behind an arts organization in quite this way. The townspeople welcomed me into their homes as if I was an old friend. The company members welcomed me as a colleague and peer, an equal. I felt truly honored to be with these people. I have never really had a strong sense of community at any point in my life, but now I know what a being a part of a thriving community is like, and I like that feeling.

A Heavy Heart

I consider myself a generally happy person, but this summer has been an emotional roller coaster for me. I am having trouble coping with what life has handed me. As this summer has progressed I have been faced with memories of lost love, failed friendships and loved ones moving on. I am for the first time in my life having to grapple with my memories. I have always had a hard time reconstructing my past, but since college that seems to have all changed. I find myself re-living the past few years as I sit alone, which is a frequent state of being for myself this summer. This memories should make me happy, most of them, but instead I am left feeling empty and alone in utter despair. My FamilyI keep being told that my situation in life should be considered a new beginning for myself, but I am finding it difficult to reconcile myself to this idea because I was fully contented with the life I was living. I was surrounded by people I loved. This new loneliness is a blow that I am not sure I will recover from in a satisfactory amount of time.

I have never felt so lost. I am without one of the rocks of my life for the first time in two years. She is out in Santa Fe carving out her new life for herself, and I find myself wondering, “Well, where does that leave me?” I always figured our lives would always be woven together, but in a short time this summer that seems like it is further and further out of reach.

I am also having trouble dealing with growing older. I am only approaching my 21st birthday. Isn’t this what people turning 30 deal with, so why now? Growing more distant from family is weighing on my mind, but there is the other side of the coin. I have been developing a new family with those I have shared the past three years with.

I know this post seems a little scattered, but I just had to work these thoughts out somewhere.


 

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